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Victim Mentality & Complex

Updated: Oct 3, 2020


The victim mentality is more of a common issue. Most people struggle with a victim mentality at one point or another during life. Victim mentality is a false sense of power. If we think about some of the spiritual masters such as Buddha, Jesus, Dalai Lama, etc., we find people who did not need to exert force over anyone, yet were never caught blaming another person for anything. Why is that? Why is it that these spiritual masters could be completely centered in their own being while people hurled insults and slurs at them yet they could walk away completely unaffected and probably even blessing those that insulted them? It’s because they knew that love is actually the only thing that truly has “power”.

When a being has gotten to the point where they have not only unconditionally loved themselves, but only dish out blessings and love to others a confidence emerges within them that allows them to humbly accept everyone exactly as they are.

Over time as we use the tools of being completely honest with ourselves about what we are experiencing in our hearts and using love as our only “defense mechanism” we will begin to see that we are actually healing those around us that normally would have been able to victimize us with their behavior. It’s as if our loving energy, empathy and compassion is giving them the excuse to relax into their emotions without blaming anyone.

We can start to recognize that anytime we are treated poorly by another person they are not really attacking us personally but rather they are showing us just how much pain they are in themselves. When people are in pain they act out, and as our levels of awareness begin to rise even further past victim mentality we realize that all people deserve our love and the ones who are mean deserve it more.


Are you playing the victim? Do you have a victim mentality?

  • You’re constantly blaming other people or situations for feeling miserable

  • You possess a “life is against me” philosophy

  • You’re cynical or pessimistic

  • You see your problems as catastrophes and blow them out of proportion

  • You think others are purposely trying to hurt you

  • You believe you’re the only one being targeted for mistreatment

  • You keep reliving past painful memories that made you feel like a victim

  • Even when things go right, you find something to complain about

  • You refuse to consider other perspectives when talking about your problems

  • You feel powerless and unable to cope effectively with a problem or life in general

  • You feel attacked when you’re given constructive criticism

  • You believe you’re not responsible for what happens in your life (others are)

  • You believe that everyone is “better off” than you

  • You seem to enjoy feeling sorry for yourself

  • You attract people like you (who complain, blame, and feel victimized by life)

  • You believe that the world is a scary, mostly bad, place

  • You enjoy sharing your tragic stories with other people

  • You have a habit of blaming, attacking, and accusing those you love for how you feel

  • You feel powerless to change your circumstances

  • You expect to gain sympathy from others, and when you don’t get it, you feel upset

  • You refuse to analyze yourself or improve your life

  • You tend to “one-up” people when it comes to sharing traumatic experiences

  • You’re constantly putting yourself down

Do you have a victim Complex?

The victim complex is a mindset that develops through life and is triggered mainly through childhood conditioning. People who suffer from the victim complex perpetually see themselves as the victims of other people or circumstances. This warped self-perception leads to the desire to gain affection and attention from other people while simultaneously avoiding self-responsibility and blame. The victim complex, on the other hand, is an insidious and deeply rooted behavioral pattern that defines a person’s entire outlook on life. Unlike the victim mentality (which generally tends to be short-lived), the victim complex can define a person’s life for years, even an entire lifetime.

  • They will constantly put themselves down

  • They will blame other people or situations for feeling miserable

  • They’ll refuse to analyze themselves in order to feel better about life

  • They have a “life is against me” philosophy

  • They feel powerless or helpless to change their circumstances

  • They think others are purposely trying to hurt them

  • They enjoy sharing their tragic stories with others

  • Even when things go well, they still find something to complain about

  • They believe that the world is a mostly bad and dangerous place

  • They get upset and reactive when given constructive criticism

  • They believe that everyone is “better off” than them

  • They tend to blame, attack, and accuse those they love for how they feel

  • They see their problems as catastrophes and blow them out of proportion

  • They don’t take responsibility for their happiness

How to stop playing victim...

  • Replace the word "you" with "I" to develop a sense of personal responsibility.

  • See yourself as a survivor; A victim argues with life, a survivor embraces it.

  • Be kind and compassionate toward yourself; practice self love and be careful about becoming a victim of being a victim.

  • Explore your mistaken beliefs; Evaluate and Reframe.

  • Ask yourself what thoughts are creating your suffering; you don’t need to believe the thoughts in your head: thoughts are simply fluctuations of energy that we assign meaning to.

  • Practice being thankful; remind yourself that life is not as miserable as you perceive it to be.

  • Affirm self responsibility; Be ruthlessly honest and examine how gaining sympathy from others makes you feel special and continues the cycle of pointing the finger at others.

  • Perform acts of kindness to others; realizing that you can feel good without manipulating another person is an important way to cut the addiction of self-victimization.

#VictimMentalityVsVictimComplex #Source|:HealthLine #Source: MentalityArise

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