Fuck You GI Tract, with love.

April 9th, 2020

We all have something we battle every day. Something that we sometimes allow to drag us down. Sometimes we can’t help it. Days like yesterday, today, maybe even tomorrow might put you face to face, or in my case, ass to toilet hahaha with your daily struggle. Sure take a day or two to hate it, cry it out, feel bad for yourself.. but don’t unpack and live there. You have to get back up and try even harder than the last time to get things back on track. Things will never change if we don't drive every ounce of our efforts into finding a way into healing.

--Sometimes it’s so bad I just wonder if I’ll live through it this time, the suffering is so intense I find myself in a downward spiral trying so hard to avoid the hospital because I know that they will just tell me I’m fine. I watch people drink milk and eat gluten and soy and not be affected. I watch people eat in general and not be effected! Yet if I accidentally have it hidden in a food I literally get 48 hour food poisoning, can’t even leave my house. I never know which symptoms I’ll have or how long it will last, sometimes it’s months. Today and yesterday I cried it out, thought negative thoughts but I crawled out of it with gratefulness this evening ready to try again.

I’m grateful for my continuous efforts to try, I never give up. I'm weak, i'm tired and i am afraid. Today I choked down an apple and a bowl of granola. It took all day but that’s a win for me on a day like this. I’m always working on my mental and my physical health. I still have a lot to learn, but i have also come so far. I’ve already noticed big physical changes. I’m blessed with a supportive circle.

If we just focus on our small wins and stay focused on getting to where we want to be we will have more good days then bad. Even if this curse follows me until the day I die I’ll never let it take away my joy of living.

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#thankful#family#friends#coworkers#lifestylechange#wearemorethananxiety#eatclean#nevergiveup